I saw someone post this on facebook:
“Yes, I'm a woman. I push doors that clearly say PULL. I laugh harder when I try to explain why I'm laughing. I walk into a room and forget why I was there. I count on my fingers in math. I hide the pain from my loved ones. I say it is a long story when it's really not. I cry a lot more than you think I do. I care about people who don't care about me. I try to do things before the microwave beeps. I listen to you even when you don't listen to me. And a hug will always help. Yes, I'm a woman! Re-post if you're proud to be one, come on ladies!.....and make sure you have a pocket knife on you at all times...they can be color coordinated with any outfit.”
Apparently I’m not a woman.This post: a) made me want to throw up, b) insulted me, c) made me laugh, and d) really REALLY tried my restraint to not re-post a new version.
That willpower is gone. Here is my version of that post.
|Good try little girl, you got some of them in the right order! Now give up on education and just learn to microwave things and have babies.|
"Yes, I'm a woman. When a sign says Push, I push it because I can READ. I laugh at funny shit like most men and women with a sense of humor do. When I walk into a room, I don't forget why because I do not yet have Alzheimer's (which is not a female only disease). Instead, I push over old people and yell "You've just been toughmuddered!" I don't count on my fingers in math because math was my favorite subject and saying that women are bad at math is a horrible stereotype that is crushing girls everywhere. I don't hide pain; I distribute pain.
Seriously, say it's a long story when it's not? I don't even get this one.
I have the inability to cry, I think it's because I'm part robot and it would rust my parts. I don't try and do things before the microwave beeps because I can't cook (and if you're keeping track at home, that's also a stereotype). I don't listen; I pretend to listen to you while I'm really doing math algorithms in my head. Okay, a hug does usually help unless the you're just trying to get a feel, in which case I will SLAP you. I also agree with this one: make sure you have a pocket knife on you at all times. You need to be ready to fight at any moment. However, I don't think a criminal is really going to care or stop trying to mug and/or rape you if your knife coordinates with your outfit. I'd get a red one...it matches the blood I will draw if you try anything."
Yes, I'm a woman!
|This was the closest picture I could find to a guy kicking a guy in the groin. Aim a little lower ladies.|